Part of a Balanced Breakfast

This week in Lost, season 4, episode 4, Chef Locke tries to serve up several delicious meals, only to have his story constantly interrupted by Kate whining about going to jail.

Ooooh, the infamous opening shot of a character’s eye, how classic Lost. As the camera reveals Locke, in Ben’s old hospital bed, he gets up and moves into the kitchen. So apparently, this week’s episode of Lost is dharma sponsored 30 minute meals, as we watch Locke make eggs and cantaloupe in a cooking montage that is way too elaborate for such a Spartan meal. Two fried eggs, some melon, and a book; a meal befitting a prisoner. Oh wait, they already did this scene back when Ben was still known as Henry Gale.

When Ben asks why Locke moved him, and Locke replies “I wanted you under my own roof,” you can cut the sexual tension with a knife. Then when Locke wants information about Ben and his secret agent, Ben once again uses his psychological warfare skillz and mocks Locke for being “more lost than [he ever was].” At least Ben makes a nod to the fact that the writers have seemingly reused every scene they ever wrote for this season. As Locke leaves with Ben’s food, even though he’s clearly not done eating, he smashes the plate against the wall. Ben sassily smiles because he knows he’s getting to the crazy bald man. Not like it’s that hard.

As Kate watches Locke storm away, she is curious about the conversation but Claire just kind of shrugs it off as Locke always being crazy. Sawyer comes up and starts some idle chit chat, and Claire takes her cue to go so the two can go bang. Except not really; more just be all ‘I wanna bang but we also have to keep this sexual frustration triangle going.’ Sawyer offers Kate some clothes that he thinks will fit her, and I feel like anyone as world weary as Sawyer should know that picking clothes for women is like navigating a minefield. Not something to do. When Sawyer wants to know why Kate is at the barracks, since they’re not gonna bang, Kate quickly cuts to the chase and calls Sawyer untrustworthy. Not to be left in the dust, Sawyer fires back with the pregnancy and takes his leave. If every time a character watched another walk away, with a longing, ‘I wanna bang you’ kind of stare, and I had to take a drink, I’m not sure my liver would survive the season.

This week’s flashforward (and obviously it’s a flashforward) is apparently about Kate. She’s a double celebrity, being one of the Oceanic Six and a felon beforehand and we are about to be subjected to her court hearing. She hates all the attention and when she asks “if there’s a back entrance” into the court, like a 7th grade kid, I immediately jump to the anal sex jokes. I’ll let you make your own. Watching the court scene just makes me wish I was watching Law and Order. I bet Jack McCoy would get her off with just one objection. Except I guess he’d be prosecuting this case. Anyways, she’s remanded without bail because, even though she’s kind of a celebrity, she’s clearly a flight risk. I mean, she fled to Australia once already. Which makes me curious about US-Australia extradition policies. But not enough to bring up wikipedia. Cuffs are slapped on her, once again, and we cut to the eerie Lost opening screen.

Back on the island, Jin reads funny American names off a map. Haha, foreigners. He and Sun are trying to find a place to raise their baby, since Jin pretty much cannot handle being his father-law’s enforcer anymore. I mean, it’s why he’s learned Engrish so good. But Sun insists that they go back to Korea, I don’t know why. I got the fuck out of there. She says, in Korean, “she wants to raise [her] baby at home,” and then Jin corrects her, “you mean our baby.” Before she can awkwardly respond about how the island may not have fixed Jin’s pee-pee and that she banged some other dude, Jack interrupts and brings the boaties with him, informing that Kate switched teams.

When Kate goes to talk to Locke, he’s washing the blood off his hands. Chicken blood, or so he claims. She wants to talk to Miles, but Locke refuses the request. Locke then claims he is not leading a democracy, he calls the shots. When Kate calls him a dictator, he gets kinda defensive and claims he would’ve shot her. But I mean, he’s not bound by any set laws nor is he concerned with the consent of the like 5 people with him, so he kind of is (Who is following him? Sawyer, Hurley, Claire, Rousseau, Alex, Karl, and his prisoners?).

Kate then tricks Hurley tricks into revealing where Miles is hidden and when he realizes he’s been “Scooby-Doo”-ed, even Kate can’t help but feel bad for tricking him. I really want to bring that term into popular use, by the way. So let’s all do our part. She promises not let Miles go and not to rat Hurley out. Poor guy, he was just bringing the vacuum salesman a sandwich.

Kate clearly wants to know if the boaties knows she a fugitive and when Miles makes the offer of trading everything he knows for a minute with Kate, it seems quite apparent that either a) they know or b) he is using her. Either way, she won’t be happy with the answer. Why not try and play weak minded Dan? Or get Frank drunk? Geez Kate, you’re a fugitive, one would think you’re a little more clever.

In jail, Kate is sporting that orange jumpsuit and goes to meeting with her lawyer. He obviously feels like he’s gonna lose and wants Kate to agree to a deal—15 year sentence, her serving 7. 7 years for her rap sheet? Honestly, that’s a pretty good deal. But she refuses to go to jail and her lawyer brings up that her mom is stabbing her in the back and testifying. Her lawyer changes strategies by wanting to make this a character battle. And wants to bring a certain someone into the courtroom. But Kate refuses to use her son in such a cheap way. Ooooh, Kate has a son.

Dan and Charlotte check out the losties’ pantry and Jack seems to keep getting a busy signal on the iPhone. Juliet has the wonderful idea of calling 911, because calling when they answer and Jack says ‘Hey, we’re on some island somewhere, come rescue us!’ that’ll really help the situation. Sun is concerned that they can’t contact the boat or hear from Sayid and paranoia makes her question Jack’s judgement. And bring up the sore spot of Kate. Jack looks visibly concerned.

Claire and Kate hang sheets to dry, since they’ve been at the barracks for the long time of one night. Also I am pretty sure there are more sheets than people there. Aaron gets fussy and Claire asks Kate to soothe him, but I don’t exactly get why, since Kate is just as entangled in sheets as Claire. Poor execution of showing that Kate feels awkward around children on the island yet super defensive back in jail. Slash I cannot get the image of goth Claire back in Australia when she put her mom in coma. And now she’s a mom. I think it just weirds me out because all these NYU hipsters will probably be doing the same thing. Weird.

In court, Kate’s lawyer apologizes for bringing ‘him’ in. And when Jack comes in, I think it is only fair to assume that Jack is the child of Kate’s that the lawyer referred to earlier. Maybe not, but it’s still kinda funny. When put on the witness stand, we see Jack commit major perjury, making up a completely false story about what happened on the island (yet, strangely, he is still extremely vague; as per Lost writers’ style). Jack clearly paints Kate as some sort of super hero. Kate suddenly cannot take all the lies anymore and stops the character examination. When cross-examined by the DA, she simply asks Jack if he loves Kate. The lawyer makes that classic tv court room objection scream while still trying to stand but gets shot down so Jack lies again and says “no, not anymore.” We get another shot of Kate looking mournful.

Roomies Hurley and Sawyer are debating how to spend their Saturday night, Hurley wanting to watch one of their two movies and Sawyer trying to read. As I stated before, there are like six people following Locke and I am pretty sure there are way more than six houses. So why are people rooming together? Kate comes over to join the party Hurley gives Sawyer that sly ‘you’re gonna hang a sock on the knob, huh?’ wink but Sawyer purposefully just draws attention to him. Sawyer brings Kate into the kitchen to share a glass of classy dharma brand box wine, unrefridgerated boxed wine. Sawyer wants to the chase and get to what Kate wants Sawyer to do. She reveals the she wants to bust Ben out, as the dramatic music swells. Honestly, I find the soundtrack more distracting than anything else.

Sawyer then shows up at Locke’s house with a backgammon board, an obvious distraction. As they’re playing, Locke opens up a little to Ben, confessing he’s worried about people regretting following him. But Sawyer assures him they are all sheep. Except Kate. So Sawyer is obviously setting up the double blind con. He sells her out, sorta, so Locke gets all worked up and follows the wrong trail. Meanwhile she has time to bang Ben or do whatever she wants to and then Locke then trusts Sawyer even more. Sawyer is an expert con man, I would expect nothing less. See! They run to the boat house where Miles was held, only to find it empty and we see Sawyer exclaim a half hearted ‘son of a bitch’ and mock surprise.

Meanwhile Kate brings Miles to talk to Ben for exactly one minute. In this one minute conversation, he reveals zero details but does claim he wants 3.2 million dollars in exchange for lying about Ben and faking his death. Blackmail, extortion, these are trivial details. Ben is quickly becoming the voice of the audience, all sassy and asking why Miles wants 3.2 million and not some other number. Miles will ‘take care of Charlotte’ but gives Ben only 2 days (which he gets extended to a week) for the money. Kate pulls him away, and Miles rattles off a bunch of details off her rap sheep. Obviously. Miles’ brilliant suggestion is for her to stay on the island before Locke and Sawyer catch them. Locke threatens Kate with a gun and demands she go back to her house.

Back in her house, Claire and Kate make idle chit-chat before Locke storms in and demands to know about the Miles-Ben conversation. She spills the beans in friendly fashion, but dictator baldy is still all in a huff about her ignoring him. He then banishes her from the camp and I almost wish he branded her with a scarlet letter, Hester Pryne style. I’m pretty sure we could make up a legit sin for any letter.

Kate’s mom (slash Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s mom slash there are way too many people on IMDB who are way too into the porn this actress has done) comes to visit Kate. But Kate is quite standoff-ish, since, as Kate explains, her mom sold her out to the feds. The whole teary-eyed, ‘I thought you were dead’ speech may work on Kate but it does nothing to soften me. But wait, Kate’s steely resolve holds strong, as she simply tells her not to testify. And has the balls to tell her mom to stay the fuck away from her son. Go Kate.

In the barracks, Kate sultrily comes into Sawyer’s room for some ‘I’m getting evicted’ sex. Sawyer ‘unbanishes’ her and though the mood is slightly killed by sounds of Hurley versus the plumbing, they still keep up that whole sexual tension thing.

Charlotte plays some sort of memory game with Dan. He can remember two out of three cards and I hate how a new thread is being set up. Bah. Jack then comes up to the two of them, complaining that his calls are being screened. Honestly, if you kept calling me, I’d screen your calls too Jack. But to get him off their backs, Charlotte reveals the second number and calls Regina. It’s here that it’s revealed the helicopter never made it to the boat, as spooky music swells (slash kills the mood).

The next morning, Locke comes to visit Miles back in the boat house, now completely tied up. Locke explains that he will make Miles tell him everything he wants to know while shoving a live grenade in his mouth. Miles has to keep biting down on the trigger so he doesn’t die. Damn, that’s a move straight out of Jack Bauer’s playbook. Locke then leaves. He may be crazy, but at least he’s a badass, who sassily tells Miles to ‘enjoy [his] breakfast.’

Kate wakes Sawyer up with some sexy kissings and he explicates that he’s ‘okay’ with not going all the way last night. Kate pushes him off though and when Sawyer once again brings up pregnancy, she gets pretty defensive slash denies it. Sawyer looks relieved and Kate takes it as an affront. Sawyer tells it like it is, an excuse to leave, but she ignores it. Suddenly, I am respecting him a little more, even if he makes Kate slap him.

In court, the DA is seemingly having some trouble continue trial, since Kate’s mom is claiming medical reasons for not testifying. The two lawyers go to talk to deals and though Kate is a little quick to jump the gun, since now her lawyer thinks he can get her out, but still doesn’t have to serve jail time. And she wants to walk out the back door again. And my 7th grade humor still giggles.

In the parking lot, Jack stops her for a quick conversation. Slash tries to flirt again. He admits that he still loves her, obviously. But he still cannot face the baby and she takes the hint. It’s a good thing too, because Jack’s beard will be serious trouble, so she dodged a bullet.

Kate returns home and hugs the nanny, I guess. They make idle chit chat and then she goes to see her boy. Named Aaron. OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH.

LOST

Read More......

Lighting Up

In the first episode of Mad Men, "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes," we meet Don Draper and his ad exec crew and marvel at how horrific the 60's were. (Oh, and I'm sorry this recap is so freaking long. I promise in the future I'll try to be a little more concise.)

The show starts with the credits, a long, abstract, HBO-style meditation on commercialism and man. It’s basically a shadowed-out dude falling through a bunch of ads, so I guess the theme is: Advertising is bad? It’ll drag you down to hell? But it’s all very stylized, and the instrumental music is both menacing and snazzy, so I have some mixed reactions. First off, I’m horribly disappointed that this doesn’t have an old-school theme song, something like “Mad Men, Mad Men, doing whatever a Mad Men can! Martinis and three piece suits! Sexual harassment is at the root! Watch out: here comes Mad Men!!!!”

Guys, I just come up with that on the spot. I’m kinda drunk as I’m writing this. I had 4 beers, but also a ton of ravioli for dinner, and also maybe an entire bag of Hint of Lime chips. So, back to the show.

The credits end with the shadowed out man sitting on a couch, his back to the camera, leaning back with arm extended, holding a cigarette. A little advice to all prospective mad men: if you’re going to cop a feel with the old “stretch and grab,” you should probably transfer your cigarette to the other hand. It’s a sign of respect.

I also realize at this point that the Mad Men episodes I downloaded from the good old interweb tubes have French subtitles, and I’m super psyched to learn what the French word for martini is.

The show starts! A helpful screen tells us that the phrase Mad Men is “a term coined in the late 1950’s to describe the advertising executives of Madison Avenue.” I get worried that this show is going to try and teach me something historical. Pause, then more words appear: “They coined it.” They could come up with a cool code name but not a catchy theme song? Weak.

We open in a very cool bar, with lots of shiny and black surfaces, then zoom in on the shiny and black hair of… some dude writing on a napkin. Alone. Being alone in a bar, writing on a napkin either means you’re a crazy genius or a straight-up alcoholic. I’ll try to reserve my judgment. The genius/alkie strikes up a conversation with one of the bar-workers about cigarettes, asking why he smokes Old Golds over Lucky Strikes. Because he doesn’t like bowling? It turns out Mr. Old Gold got hooked on that brand when he was in “the service,” so it’s about habit. Crazy/Straight-up asks how he could convince him to try Lucky Strikes, and there’s a little mention of how smoking will kill you. PSA, kids! They laugh over silly old Reader’s Digest and their anti-smoking agenda, and I fall a little bit in love with the gen-coholic, who I’ve figured out is Don Draper, since he’s the star of the show. I’d be a absolutely sure this is Don if the Golden Globes hadn’t been cancelled and I had seen Jon Hamm accept his Best Actor award, but Don Draper’s smooth baritone convinces me he’s the leading man.

Everyone in the bar is smoking. God, I miss lung cancer.

Cut to Don knocking on a door, answered by a redhead in a mostly unbuttoned white men’s shirt. She lets him in, and then do the pre-fucking banter about grandmother’s day and puppies. Then he gets down to business: smoking is bad for you! Doctors won’t endorse it anymore because of goddamn Reader’s Digest. The redhead finally confirms my suspicions by asking, “Is this the part where I say, ‘Don Draper is the best ad men ever, and his big strong brain will find a way to lead the sheep to the slaughterhouse’?” And then we learn the redhead is Midge! I love exposition because it makes recapping so much easier. Don expresses concern over going into work tomorrow without an idea, Midge just wants Don to rip the buttons off her shirt, and I have to say, I do too. He finally leans over and they start making out… then, fade out. Real classy, AMC.

The next morning, Don Draper’s hair is a bit messed up and he’s smoking in bed with Midge. They discuss marriage, and she tells him, “You know the rules: I don’t make plans and I don’t make breakfast.” Don’s got this look in his face like, “Damn, an omelet would be so good right now.” Instead, he continues to obsess over his smoking account and they slag off Reader’s Digest one more time. Man, what did Reader’s Digest ever do to Mad Men? My grandparents used to have a subscription, and they also didn’t have cable TV, so whenever we went to upstate New York to visit I would read about 8 issues of Reader’s Digest. I always dreamed of getting $200 dollars by successfully submitting a joke or story to the “That’s Outrageous!” column.

Madison Avenue, Sterling Cooper ad agency, morning. Some smarmy guys in an elevator discuss an upcoming bachelor party, then make their way to an office within which sits… Connor! Angel’s son who grew up in another dimension, returned to LA to be really moody and then slept with Cordelia, his surrogate mother, during a semi-apocalypse, and then did some other stuff that I don’t remember but I’m sure was similarly inappropriate. Anyway, Connor is on the phone with someone he calls “honey” (Cordelia?), and tells her to go shopping or something. Man, I wish I were married to Connor. Then he tells her, “Of course I love you. I’m giving up my life to be with you, aren’t I?” Suicide pacts are sooo Connor. Also, I find it really strange to see Vincent Kartheiser not playing a 15 year old. According to IMDB he’ll be 29 in May. Also, according to Imdb he failed the 9th grade and lists Monica Keena (Ghost Abby on Dawson’s Creek and Hot Rachel on Undeclared) as one of his favorite actresses, so he’s both old and pretty dumb. Sorry, Vinnie!

Next, it’s Saffron from Firefly, as a secretary. Do you ever notice how whenever there’s one Joss Whedon alumni on a TV show, there’s bond to be another close behind? They travel in packs, I swear. Anyway, Saffron is wearing a great green dress and giving a tour to a more dowdy chick, apparently on her first day at work. Saffron gives the newbie some advice about how to be a good secretary to Don Draper, then tells her to go home, cut two eyeholes out of a paper bag, put it on her head, then look at herself naked and “assess your strengths and weaknesses. Really be honest.” Is this like Knocked Up when the execs told Katherine Heigl to go home, weigh herself, subtract 20 pounds, then weigh that? The next piece of advice Saffron (we learn her name is Joan) tells Dowdy is, “really make your ankles sing.” If you had, say, a martini right now and wanted to play some sort of drinking game, you could take a gulp whenever someone mentions Dowdy’s legs.

Don Drapper walks by with Mr. Sterling, played by John Slattery, who I always thought was a poor man’s Clooney with the salt-and-pepper hair. On the other hand, he wanted to pee on Carrie in his Sex and the City role, which is something ol’ Cloons would never do (hopefully). Slattery pressure Don about the Lucky Strike account, and in response Don opens his desk drawer and pulls out a freshly laundered white button-down, one of a whole stack. He changes (I want an office that doubles as a dressing room!), and Slattery asks if the company has ever hired any Jews. They both say the word “Jew” a bunch of times and I learn that the French translation is “Juifs.” Turns out they have an appointment with a department store run by a Jewish family and want to make them feel “comfortable.” Don offers to “run down to the deli, grab somebody.” Yes, I love casual prejudice! The more inappropriate these people act the more in love I fall.

Don Draper puts an antacid tablet into a glass of water and sighs deeply, probably wishing he had a martini. Then he digs around in his desk and pulls out… a Purple Heart? He places it in its proper case, then closes it to reveal it belongs to “Lt. Donald Francis Draper.” I’ve always believed middle names are very important, so I looked up the meaning of Francis: from France. I’m sensing that my French subtitles are going to be very important. Salvatore the Italian art director enters the room and shows Don a drawing of a shirtless guy relaxing with a cigarette. Salvatore seems to be very into this drawing—gay scandal up ahead? He then asks if Don is going to Pete’s bachelor party, and Don replies “he’s not really big on these things.” Next question from the Italian: “Should we drink before the meeting or after? Or both?” I think you know my answer.

The morning debauchery is interrupted by Greta Guttman, a very severe looking older woman who proceeds to grill them about the smoking ad campaign. She throws some research at them, then gets all Freudian and describes the “death wish,” a self-destructive tendency just as powerful as sexual desire. In response to Freud, Salvatore says, “So, we’re supposed to believe that people are living one way, and secretly thinking the exact opposite? That’s ridiculous.” Reaaal subtle, Mad Men writers. Don shoots down Greta’s psychology-driven theories, and then tosses her thick report on cigarette-caused cancer in the trash. Recycle, Don!

In the next scene, Don lies down on his couch for a quick nap, and I decide that being an advertising exec could be the best job ever. He’s awoken by the dowdy secretary, who introduces herself as Peggy Olsen. She tells him Mr. Campbell is outside, and soon bursts in Connor, who I guess I’ll have to start calling by his real name. In addition to the Peggy’s legs game, also sip whenever someone bursts into Don’s office without knocking. It happens so frequently that I have to analyze it: does this mean that people around the office don’t respect Don and his private space, or that they just feel so comfortable with him that his office is practically public space?

Pete Campbell starts asking Peggy about her background, then takes it upon himself to give her some of the world’s sleaziest fashion advice: “You’re in the city now. Wouldn’t be a sin for us to see your legs. If you pull your waist in a little bit you might look like a woman.” Drink! But now I feel bad for calling her dowdy and being a part of the patriarchal society. Sorry Peggy, you’re beautiful just the way you are. She looks a little bit like Thelma from Scooby Doo with those really unfortunate bangs, but Thelma wore a miniskirt with knee socks, despite her reputation as the not-sexy one. Anyway, Don sends Peggy out, but not before apologizing for Pete, who “left his manners back at the fraternity house.” Pete shrugs his shoulders in the universal gesture for, “What do you want, boys will be boys.”

Don and Pete walk through the office discussing both Peggy and Pete’s fiancée, so now we know it’s Pete’s bachelor party everyone’s talking about. Don tells Pete, “I bet the whole world looks like one big brassiere strap just waiting to be snapped to you,” which is a nicely succinct description of Pete’s character. Don gives Pete a little advice: be nice to the secretaries, because otherwise he’ll never be promoted to boss because no one will like him, and he’ll have “a little bit of hair, and girls will go home with you out of pity.” Pete’s face has “ouch” written all over it.

The two men enter the meeting and meet the client, Rachel Menkin. A woman! Oh noes!

After the commercial we’re at the Midtown Medical Building, where Peggy is sitting in an examining room reading a pamphlet titled “It’s Your Wedding Night!” I try to image what it says inside. “If it’s not your first time, pretend that it is, even if you’ve already had sex with the man you married. He’ll want to forget your promiscuous past now that he’s made you into an honest woman.” The doctor enters, lights up a cigarette, then starts interrogating Peggy about why she wants contraceptives. He says he’s not here to judge, just wants to make sure she doesn’t turn into a “strumpet,” and that he’ll take her off the pill if she abuses it, because “easy women do not find husbands.” This is the scariest TV show I’ve ever seen.

We cut back to the ad agency, where Slattery and Don are presenting their ideas for the female/Jewish department store: a TV spot, a coupon, etc. The men sit there looking extremely pleased with themselves before Rachel Menkin lays the smackdown. She doesn’t think that her store, which shares a wall with Tiffany’s, should be giving out coupons. You know, I don’t care if it makes me white trash, I love coupons. I signed up to get coupons from Borders texted to my phone and now I go there about twice a week to get books at 40% off. On the other hand, Borders does not share a wall with Tiffany’s. Anyway, Don stupidly tells Rachel, “I think your father would agree with the strategy”— this shows a definite lack of ability to read the audience. In case you were wonder, I think Don is drinking a Bloody Mary, and there’s a shrimp cocktail on the table in front of Rachel which looks delicious.

Pete asks Rachel why she came to their agency and not one with, as Rachel puts it, “a man from the same village as my father.” She gets another dig in at Don by telling him that rival agency favors coupons too. There’s nothing wrong with coupons, Rachel! Just because you’re using a solid gold cigarette holder doesn’t mean you have to pass up the buy 1 get one free deal. Rachel tells them she’s not interested in the type of people who love coupons, like me and housewives; she wants people who don’t worry about saving money and go to her department store because it’s expensive. Don tells her, “We obviously have very different ideas.” Rachel replies, “Yes, like the customer is always right.” There are like five shrimp cocktails on the table. Every time the camera switches shots I notice a new one. Rachel slams them for not living up to Sterling Cooper’s reputation of being “innovative,” and Don starts to tell her she’s out of line when Slattery interrupts to ask Don to not “get emotional here.” I love that gender reversal—it’s so stereotypical for the women to get all het up and have to be told to “not get emotional,” but here it’s Alpha Male Don who needs to be reined in.

Don, Rachel, Pete and Slattery (I really cannot remember his name, and Slattery is really fun to say and type so maybe I just won’t ever learn it) fight over what kind of department store Menken’s is: is it like Chanel or just another Jewish department store? Rachel puts her cigarette out in the shrimp cocktail. Gross! Don gets up and says, “I’m not gonna let a woman talk to me like this.” I have five bucks on these two having really hot hate sex before episode 6.

Don strides angrily through the halls as Pete runs to catch up. The two of them are like, “Bitches, man.” Don notes that Roger (I guess that’s Slattery) won’t be happy, which is good for Pete since Pete wants Don’s job. Pete makes Don stop for a little macho heart to heart: “I’m not gonna pretend I don’t want your job. But you were right, I’m not great with people, and you are. So I’m kind of counting on you to help me out.” Don apologizes for being hard on him before, and blames the stress of the tobacco account. Pete lays it on very, very thick: “You’ll figure something out. A man like you I’d follow into combat blindfolded. And I wouldn’t be the first.” Pete sticks his hand out for a shake and I start yelling at Don, “Shake his hand! He’s obviously a psychopath and when he brings a machine gun to the office you’ll be the first to go!” Don take his chances on rejecting Pete’s brotherly overtures, and tells him, “Let’s take it a little slower. I don’t want to wake up pregnant.” He walks away, Pete looks around shiftly, and then he mumbles… can you say fuck you on AMC? Did people even say fuck you in the 50’s? The French subtitles have deserted me just as I need them most.

Back to the secretary area, where Peggy (the dowdy one) and Joan (Saffron) discuss the doctor Peggy just visited. Joan tells her, “He has a place in South Hampton. I’m not saying that I’ve seen it… but it’s beautiful.” Oh no, Joan is one of those girls, who secretly want everyone to know how much sex they’re having but don’t want everyone to think they’re a slut, so they make loads of double-entendres and do a lot of winking. Joan leads her to the “nerve center” of the office, where three girls sit by the phones and act as operators. Joan tells them to never yell, snap, or argue with these girls, and above all, “Always be a supplicant.” I’d say Joan is taking that advice home with her at night. Peggy passes out some “getting to know you” gifts to the operators, and one asks about Don’s old assistant. Joan tells them that the old assistant moved on: “Draper wasn’t interested.” Peggy gets this “Duh duh duuuun!” look on her face, whjch only gets worse when the middle operator tells her, “You have great legs. I bet Mr. Draper would like it if we could see them.” Damn, all this fashion advice flying around the office is just as I imagine working at Vogue would be like. Except with more cocaine and less shrimp cocktails.

The tobacco meeting has finally arrived! A man with a Texas drawl bitches about “government interlopers” and I prepare myself for another dig at Reader’s Digest. Instead some random exec says that with all the government interference we “might as well be living in Russia.” I read this article a few months ago about how the most popular shows on Russian TV are almost line-for-line remakes of shows like Married with Children, except with Russian actors and Al is working in a meat shop instead of a shoe store (or something). Maybe there’s an idea in there for advertising Lucky Strike cigarettes. No?

The Texan exhales a big puff of smoke and sets off a wave of coughing among every man at the table. There’s a lot of talk about the media convincing everyone that smoking is harmful, and how much that sucks. Slattery agrees that it’s all a conspiracy cooked up by Reader’s Digest and beatniks, but that they’re still not legally allowed to advertise that cigarettes are safe. He then passes the ball to Don, and I get all nervous because I hate seeing people choke. Just kidding! There are few things I love better than seeing people choke, which is why I’m so into Olympic figure skating. Those fragile little bitches snap into bits every time they botch a double axel. Especially Sasha Cohen, who has the mental prowess of a baby mouse.

Don spends 2 minutes smashing his cigarette into the ashtry, stammering all the while. He’s choking! The Russian judges are going to give him such a low score after this faulty start. But then Pete swoops onto the ice and starts doing spins and figure-eights, assuring the Lucky Strike people that the health bias isn’t the end of the world. People get in their cars and drive to work everyday, even though cars are dangerous and have been known to kill people. Cigarettes are exactly the same! Pete then goes for the triple lutz by bringing in Greta’s “death wish,” which Don dismissed earlier. Oh, but he overjumps and lands on his ass! The Texan asks, “What the hell are you talking about? Are you insane? I’m not selling rifles here.” The Texan is obviously the Russian judge in this totally overblown analogy. If someone would just snottily say, “Toepick!” I’d be able to wrap it up. (Also, can I just let everyone know that ABC Family is going to be screening the seminal classic The Cutting Edge sometime this weekend? I would highly recommend it. Oh, and Rachel Menkin totally reminds me of Moira Kelly, who stars in the movie with DB Sweeney. Seriously, watching The Cutting Edge is the best possible way you could spend a Sunday.)

The Lucky Strike men get up to leave, and the camera closes up on Don’s face. Some vaguely Native American wind chimes are heard, and Don finally finds his spirit animal (the smoking bear, perhaps?) He stops the men and asks if he could say one more thing. “The Federal Trade Commission and Reader’s Digest have done you a favor. They’ve let you know that any ad that brings up the concept of cigarettes and health together, well, it’s just going to make them think of cancer. And if you can’t make those health claims, neither can your competitors.” Finally, someone has something good to say about Reader’s Digest! Don tell them that since the health angle is out the window, there are 6 identical companies selling six identical products, and they can say anything they want. He then gets out a chalkboard and has the Texan explain how Lucky Strikes are made. He loses me with “insect repellent,” but gets me back with “Carolina sunshine.” Don picks up on the knowledge that the tobacco is toasted or something, and says that that’s their new slogan: It’s Toasted. Don glows with the beauty of bullshit as he tells them, “Advertising is based on one thing: happiness.” He then gives a little presidential campaign speech about new cars and freedom from fear, and billboards on the side of the road that “scream whatever you’re doing is ok. It’s ok. You. Are. OK.” Don looks ready to kiss some babies. Pete looks ready to eat some babies (did Connor ever eat any babies on Angel? That definitely seems like something he would do). The Texan looks ready to have some babies with Don—metaphorical, advertising babies, that is. The Texan repeats, “It’s toasted. I get it.”

Celebratory brandy in Don’s office! Don confesses to Slattery he pulled that idea out of his ass, which is where all good ideas come from. Slattery then takes advantage of the good mood by asking Don to reconsider “this presidential campaign.” I’m recapping this as I go, so I swear I hadn’t seen this when I wrote that line in the last paragraph about stump speeches. Don says he doesn’t know, he might make a “hash out of it.” Slattery says, “Modest, that’s adorable.” No, Slattery is adorable. He continues: “C’mon, consider the product: he’s young, handsome, Navy hero. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince American Dick Nixon is a winner.” Cue the laugh track. I find it hard to believe that Nixon was ever considered handsome?

Don doesn’t get to reply as Pete and his swarmy friends bust into his office (without knocking!) bearing champagne. Pete says, “I told him how amazing you were, I’m still tingling from when I pulled a sink off the wall in the men’s bathroom, pretended it was your head, then threw it out the window onto Madison Avenue.” Or maybe that last part when unsaid. Slattery takes his leave, but not before asking Don to try and patch things up with Rachel Menkin. Don defers the question, and next tells the fellas (I need to come up with some sort of pithy nickname for these dudes, preferably something that rhymes…) that he’ll not be joining in on Pete’s bachelor party so they should go drink someone else’s liquor. As Pete heads out Don calls him on using Greta’s “death wish” research after Don rejected it. “I had a report just like that, and it’s not like there’s some magic machine that makes identical copies.” C’mon Mad Men, I know the 60’s were stupid but this isn’t Hogan’s Heroes. There are better ways to be funny.

Peggy walks in as Pete exits, and she closes the door behind her. I get worried that there’s going to be some horrendously awkward attempt at seduction by either person. Peggy thanks Don for a great first day, “and standing up for me with Mr. Campbell.” She gets all breathy and her eyes get a little squinty, and she puts her hand on Don’s hand and I am cringing like crazy. Go back to Brooklyn, Peggy! Don’t give it up to your boss on the first day! Don forcibly moves her hand and tells her, “First of all, I’m your boss, not your boyfriend. Second, if you ever let Pete Campbell go through my trash again you won’t be able to get a job selling sandwiches at Penn Station.” Peggy gets even more awkward as she explains Pete told her he left his fountain pen in there (I, too, am always leaving my fountain pen places so I can go back and go through people’s trash), and that she hopes he doesn’t think she’s “that kind of girl.” Like who, Joan? He tells her he doesn’t, then asks her to place a phone call before going home.

Smoky jazz club with a blonde on stage doing some sort of dance with her fingers. She’s basically standing up there taking her glove off really slowly—it’s hot. The bachelor party is harassing the cocktail waitress, and one of them says, “Let’s live here!” A group of women show up and sit down with them—I’m not sure if the girls know the guys or not but everyone’s friends at the Pussycat Club! The blonde on stage starts to take off her dress, and Pete starts feeling up the girl next to him. But since she’s not his surrogate mother, it probably won’t go too far. The stripper is now removing her bra, and AMC is like, “If you thought a mumbled ‘fuck you’ was bad, wait until we show you nipple tassles!”

At a much classier joint, Don is buying Mai Tais for Rachel Menkin. I’m interested in seeing how she’s going to be a ballbuster with a drink topped with pineapple, some leaves, and a little umbrella. She guesses the reason Don called: “You got in trouble, didn’t you?” He apologizes for losing her temper, she accepts, and Don looks surprised at how easy that was. She should have ordered a gin and tonic and made him grovel a little more. She tells him it was refreshing to hear all the things she’s always assumed people were thinking. Now they’re totally eyefucking each other and I’m wondering if I’m going to be so lucky as to see the hot hate sex happen in the next two minutes. He then asks why she isn’t married, doesn’t she think “getting married and having a family would make you happier than all the headaches that go along with fighting people like me?” She tells him the hate sex when you’re married is bitter rather than hot. She spouts some stuff about not wanting to put on an apron and finding business a thrill, then gets a little girly and confessed, “And I’ve never been in love.” Saddest six words in the English language. Don teases her a little by saying he thinks he used “She won’t get married because she’s never been in love” in an ad for nylons. She tells him love isn’t just a slogan for some people, and Don gives her a preview of the bitterness that’ll come if they ever got hitched: “Oh, you mean love, you mean big lightning bolt to the heart, you mean where you can’t eat and you can’t work and you just run off and get married and make babies. The reason you haven’t felt it is because it doesn’t exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me… to sell nylons.” Rachel is dubious, and Don continues the Morose Express with, “You’re born alone and you die alone, and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts, but I never forget it.” Everyone in the club starts texting their friends that they just witnessed the most pathetic man in Manhattan and he’ll be performing all night.

Rachel stares intently at Don and says she just realized “it must be hard being a man, too.” Don’s like, “What? Where did you get that from what I just said? Being a man is the best! My life rules!” She tells him, “I don’t know what it is you really believe in, but I do know what it feels like to be out of place, to be disconnected, to see the whole world laid out in front of you the way other people live it. There’s something about you that tells me you know it too.” Don looks at her openly for a second, then shuts down and averts his eyes. Oh, men. He asks if she wants another drink, and Rachel looks disappointed. She takes her leave, but tells Don she’ll be back at Sterling Cooper on Monday for a “real meeting.”

The only man lower than Don is Pete, who is drunkenly knocking on an apartment door. A young woman with her hair in curlers answers, and Pete asks if Peggy lives there. He followed her home! Creeper! Peggy comes to the door and looks a little flattered that Pete is hassling her in the middle of the night (because she’s an idiot). She goes out in the hall to talk to him and Pete delivers what may be the best or worst pickup line ever, “I’m getting married on Sunday.” She knows, and Pete continues, “you must think I’m a creep.” I do! She asks why he’s here, and Pete stands about an inch away from her face and says, “I wanted to see you tonight.” Peggy says, a little wondorously, “me?” and you can tell she’s just sad and lonely enough to buy it. You guys, she is so Chloe Sevigny’s character in American Psycho! Pete is no Christian Bale, though. Peggy pulls him inside for some sex that will probably end with him pulling out a chainsaw.

I’ve often bitched about how short network tv shows are, how they’re barely 40 minutes, but it’s been 45 and a half minutes and I’m ready for this episode to be over. Don is on the train (or subway?), presumably heading home, and the score is getting very Hitchcockian. He pulls up to a big, white house, and the violins are going nuts. He walks inside and a jazzy saxophone starts playing, so I guess Don isn’t going to be revealed to be the real American Psycho. No, it’s much worse: He’s married. The musical director must hate hypocrites. Don’s wife greets him, and they make out like boring married people until Don tells her he’ll be right back. He goes up to the kid’s bedroom to check on his son and daughter (I think… my screen is kind of dark so it could be two girls or some sort of halvsie). Don’s wife appears in the doorway and watches her perfect husband with her two perfect kids, Frank Sinatra starts crooning, and we zoom out the window. The end.

Read More......

The Idiot Box

There are some things I am really passionate about. I don't like when people attack those things. So when I read Julia's latest post, there was a catalyst that kinda worked me up into a huff.
Rant ahead

As someone who happens to seriously enjoy television, even bad television (you have to have something to make fun of), I obviously get kind of annoyed at people who write things on profiles like “favorite TV shows: TURN OFF YOUR TV. GO OUTSIDE.” And the like. I read books, I cook, I played music, I go to concerts, I am an avid runner, and now I write. AND I ALSO LIKE TO WATCH TV. Sometimes I fail to see how talking about the symbolism of the green light in The Great Gatsby is any more stimulating than debating what the fuck the smoke monster is. When Julia posted that someone criticized her for building a friendship based on a shared experience of watching a television show, I got very defensive. Hey buddy, she’s my friend too. A damn good one at that.

Obviously there is good television and bad television. And the bad far outnumbers the good. But is there any form of expression where this isn’t true? For every To Kill a Mockingbird, I’m pretty sure there are about 10 Goosebumps books. For every Lawrence of Arabia there’s Bad Boys. And Bad Boys 2. But watching television, becoming invested and involved in it, can be just as much an experience as reading a book, going to a concert, or working with someone on a volunteer project. And that’s how we can relate to people. Shared experience.

And then I got to thinking. Of all the tv I watch, those most important to me are tied quite closely to social interaction.

So I clearly elaborated this point on two of my top five television moments in an earlier post, but even the other three strongly reflect on my social history: the number of sleepovers I went to where we watched mst3k and later, the movie nights where we watched the movie, are too numerous. The witty repartee is best shared, and then later quoted, with friends. Arrested Development did eventually land a spot in my viewing habits, when my suitemate and I found ourselves with an abundance of free time in spring break, and Seinfeld was one way that I spent time with my mother when I was stranded out in the middle of Santa Maria, miles away from home and friends.

Some of my earliest memories of playing at my friend Josh’s house involve fighting with x-men action figures until 5:00 when we would run, and I mean run, into the other room and turn on Mighty, Morphing Power Rangers.

The X-Files was the first intricate and involved series that I got into. And I spent countless hours thinking about and later debating each plot thread with friends. The intarwebz were all abuzz with conspiracy theory after theory. It was Lost before Oceanic Flight 815 existed.

And finally, I think by having something routine, a weekly event, it helps promote bringing people together. “Oh it’s almost 9:00, let’s go across the hall,” as an instigator to socially congregate. Then when the show is over, guess what? We’re still hanging out. Without anything necessarily holding our gaze. Just being social with friends. No, we’re not going out to sit in a coffee shop; who wants to go outside when it’s 4 degrees outside? We’ll have the exact same conversations.

In conclusion, I like tv and I think it is a perfectly acceptable social activity. And anyone who wants to argue with me is more than welcome to go jerk themselves off somewhere else.

Read More......

My history of television

Someone very wise said, TV lovers aren't born, they're made. Buffy made me.

Ryan asked me to write a little introduction to myself, and since I live to please, here it is. I thought about writing a full, day-by-day account of my TV watching history, but instead I'll try to limit my natural tendency towards wordiness (I also really like using parenthesis) and make a list like Ryan did. So here's the top ten most significant moments in my life in front of the TV:

#10, Let's Get Dangerous!: I can remember very clearly being maybe 5 or 6 years old and asking my mom, "When is Darkwing Duck on? Is it on now? You have to tell me, Mom, because I don't want to miss it." What can I say; from a young age I was drawn to dark, gritty and realistic TV shows.

#9, I'm a little bit in love with Jim Halpert: Remember when The Office first started and everyone was like, "Damn, NBC is totally circling the drain, this show is gonna suck." But during the second half of the first season, which fell during spring of freshman year of college, I started hearing a few good things here or there and thought, "Wait, how did that show not get cancelled?" And then one night I was staying up late and couldn't sleep, and decided to check out the "Recommended shows" section on the Tivo I recently bought. If you've never been blessed with having a Tivo in your life, I'll explain a little bit. Based on the shows you subscribe to (aka you set the Tivo to record every new episode of a certain show), the Tivo will find programs that are similar and then record them for you. The first program I subscribed to was The Daily Show, so for a while the only shows Tivo recommended were on CNBC, which is ridiculous because I detest serious news-based TV. But eventually Tivo branched out and recorded different shows for me, but I didn't watch any of them... until The Office. That episode was "Dwight's Speech," where Jim pranks Dwight by giving him speeches from old Fascist dictators to use in his top salesman speech. A lot of the humor was based on the twisted relationships between the characters, so at the end of the episode I was slightly underwhelmed but willing to give it another chance. I saw another Tivo-ed episode, then Ryan the Hero downloaded the first and the second season-so-far for me, and I watched about 25 episodes in 3 days. Now I'm a Jim and Pam fan for life. When Jim came into the office at the end of Casino Night and grabbed Pam for the best kiss of all time, I pretty much died.

#8, Can we borrow your tv?: Veronica Mars pretty much made freshman year. I've never made friends easily, and after a month and a half of college I wondered if I was ever going to meet people I'd want to hang out with. And then the cable in our dorm room went out, and the 6 girls of 1003 were stuck without anywhere to watch Laguna Beach. But on that Tuesday night, I was way too embarrassed to go knock on the door of 1005 by myself to watch my tiny little girl detective UPN show. But Dana insisted she'd come with me, even though she'd only seen a few episodes, and so we went and asked the boys down the hall if we could watch it in their room. Danny and Ryan (and maybe Kyle?) watched it with us, and they liked it, and the four of us preceded to watch (rewatch for me) the whole first and second season together. I had this really long conversation over Thanksgiving that year with a friend who argued that using TV as a basis for friendships might work but is more artificial and shallow than friendships formed over, I don't know, volunteer work and poetry readings. My argument was, "You're a jerk. Be happy that I'm happy that I have great friends." So maybe 1003 would have become friends with 1005 regardless of Veronica Mars. But maybe not, and even though season 3 was patchy at best, season 1 is transcendently awesome and Rob Thomas is a modern day hero.

#7, I watch too much ABC Family: I'm embarrassed to include Gilmore Girls on this list, since it's pretty much the girliest show ever created and I think it's actually pretty overrated and that Amy Sherman-Palladino is more hack than genius. But I own the first six seasons on DVD (in my defense, they were on sale at Target for $15 each), and there isn't an episode I haven't seen multiple times. My relationship with this show is the definition of love-hate: Rory is a baby-talking wimp, Lorelei is a selfish brat, the grandparents are Darth Vader-level evil, the townies are annoying, and the whole Stars Hallow community is ridiculous. And yet... whenever I've had a hard day, and am tired and worn down, I turn on ABC Family and watch an old Gilmore Girls episode and at the end of the hour I feel loads better. Despite everything that's wrong with this show (and my above list is just the tip of the iceberg), it's also a little bit magical. Plus, I have very found memories of the summer after freshman year when I didn't get a job and spent three months lying by the pool, but would go to the gym every day at noon and run on the treadmill while watching this show. Final reason: Jess!

#6: You bought me a wall: I was 12 when Dawson's Creek first started on the WB, and my parents decided it was too mature for their baby girl. But my sister was allowed to watch it, so I did a lot of lurking in doorways and I may have even watched it while standing outside looking through the window. Eventually my parents decided it was easier to just let me watch it for real so we could "discuss it," and I cringe as I think of the conversation I had with mom about Dawson's parents that included the phrase, "dry-humping." But after a season or two I moved on from DC to other WB shows with less annoying characters. I watched episodes here or there, enough to have a general grasp of the plotlines, but wasn't really invested in the characters. But then there was the summer before senior year, where every weekday I had to be at work at 9, so I would wake up at 7 and watch back to back episodes of season 3 of Dawson's Creek on TBS. Season 3 is where Pacey and Joey finally get together, stick it to Dawson, then sail off together in a boat called True Love at the end of the season. It's pretty much all downhill from there, but the best of the Pacey/Joey romance was better than almost anything else.

#5, "My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it was, you're lucky to get out alive.": But was Pacey/Joey better than Angela/Jordan Catalano? Too close to call. I was 8 when My So-Called Life first aired, and while I vaguely remember being in the room while my mom watched a rerun of it on MTV, I was too young to watch it myself. But I grew up hearing about how amazing it was, and seeing how hot Jared Leto continued to be (until the whole eyeliner/band fiasco), so it was always in the corner of my mind that I should check it out. I got the DVD set for Christmas sophomore year of high school and quickly realized that some shows are legendary for a reason. Even though I was watching this show 9 years after it first aired, I could relate to everything Angela thought and felt. I think MSCL was the first show, for me, that proved that TV can depict real life, even with scripts and actors and costumes. This show is the polar opposite of Dawson's Creek, and these two high school shows are exemplary of the two types of TV I tend to really like: the hyper-stylized, no way realistic, all melodrama everyone looks like a catalog model and has a witty comment or quip ready at lightning speed (think Gilmore Girls, Friends, Veronica Mars) vs the naturalistic, earnest, sometimes painful, very heartfelt, normal-ish actors saying "Um" and "like" (Friday Night Lights, Freaks and Geeks, the Office). This past summer I sold that old box set on Ebay and got the new, rereleased set for Christmas. I haven't gotten a chance to rewatch the MSCL eps with commentary, but I feel sure when I do that I'll relate to Angela just as deeply as I did when I was 16. And I'll still be just as frustrated that we never found out how it ended, since Claire Danes was too whiny to do another season. Then, as now, I like and demand closure from my TV shows. (That's why I'm really glad I never watched the Sopranos.)

#4, Bitch is gonna get stabbed: I watched the first season of Surviver, and I was certainly into Laguna Beach. But no reality show will ever compare to Bravo's classiest bitch, Project Runway. Senior year of high school I saw an ad for it in People and thought, "Heidi Klum is hosting a reality show? That could be kind of cool." A few weeks later, in newspaper class, my friend Ali asked if I had seen it and I remembered that I wanted to check it out. I did, and every week Ali and I would gush over Austin and Kara Saun and Jay and evil, evil Wendy Pepper. This was way before the whole Tim Gunn phenomenon, and it felt like Ali and I were the only two people in the world watching this little sewing show. It got bigger, and by freshman year of college it was the only hour of the week were all 5 of my suitemates got together in the same room, and the same for another 4 suitemates sophomore year. I haven't been really watching this season; I don't know why I can't get into it (silly challenges? Uninspiring designs?) but everytime I try to watch an episode I give up after 15 minutes. But this is still the best reality show on TV, I still want Tim Gunn to be my best friend, and I still want Kara Saun to design my outfits every day for the rest of my life.

#3, ArrDev: You guys, I was in love with Michael Cera since the very first episode of Arrested Development (I'm still trying to get ArrDev to catch on as the unofficial nickname of the show), so all you bitches-come-lately who saw Superbad and decided you wanted a piece of the cute nerd action can just go to the back of the line. But anyway... this show really cemented my tendency to watch and fall in love with the low-rated, critically acclaimed, soon to be cancelled show. I can't really get on board with the "Fox is the devil for killing ArrDev too soon!" because three seasons is a decent run. It could have been treated and promoted a lot better by the network, of course, but I feel like everything after the first season was a gift. Also, this show inspired me to go to a pottery place and paint a mug bright orange, with "SAVE ARRDEV" on one side, "Michael and George Michael" on the other with little houses, and "Terrible mistake?" on the inside. If that's not dedication I don't know what is. Now if only I can get myself a Cornballer...

#2, Is that a Michael Phelps cardboard cut-out?: I don't give a fuck about sports, but I love the Olympics. I watch the Opening Ceremonies, and I mist up at all the happy athletes waving their flags. I watch the little athlete background puff-pieces, and I get a little teary at the hard-luck stories. Paul Hamm falls on his ass in the vault then comes back to win the gold medal, and I cry like a fucking baby. I adore the Olympics: the competition, the international friendliness, the 24/7 cheesiness, the incredibly toned and hot bodies of the athletes, the barely-contained rage of the robot gymnasts from Romania... there's nothing bad about the Olympics, except curling. I was dying to go to Beijing this summer but I don't think it's gonna happen; maybe London 2012. As for the winter Olympics, sure I enjoy watching figure skating, but Michael Phelps and his speedo are at the Summer Olympics so they take priority.

#1, The Chosen One: So this is where this list has been heading to since the very first line: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Maybe you've noticed that of the above listed shows, one of the main reasons they're on this list is because they had some hot dude (Logan Echolls, Pacey Witter, Jordan Catalano, George Michael Bluth, Jess Mariano...). Yes, I have a long and storied history of TV boyfriends. So I have to say, right off the bat, that BtVS isn't number 1 because of Angel or Spike or Xander or even Giles. The reason I own multiple novelizations and behind-the-scenes guides and 5 seasons on DVD (sorry Buffy, but I just can't justify getting the UPN seasons). The reason is the great writing, the badass villains and action, the friendship of the Scooby Gang, and the most inspiring little blonde girl in the history of TV. This was the first show to make me cry (when Buffy gets the Class Protector award at Prom), the first show to make me seek out an online community, and the first show I bought on DVD. Buffy introduced me to the wider genre of sci-fi and fantasy, not to mention the future works of Joss Whedon. But it mostly made me fall in love with TV-- through this show I saw how it can bring people together, create discussions, influence emotions. I haven't watched a Buffy episode in months (maybe more than a year), but it'll always be the most influential television show of my youth.

So I guess that making this in list form didn't stop me from being really, really wordy. Sorry! Mad Men recaps to follow very soon, so start preparing your martini and don't forget to sexually harass your secretary.

Read More......

Oscar Night Live Blog

8:25: Five minutes until the Oscars start. Regis guides us through the front row of the auditorium, and we learn that Jack Nicholson is there and wearing sunglasses. I'm already annoyed.

8:30: It's starting! No matter how cheesy it is, I secretly love the video introductions where they edit all the movies together. But I have to say, the technology doesn't look too high-quality. But I'm pleased they included Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as Mr. and Mrs. Smith, because I sort of really love that movie.

8:31: Jon Stewart! Wearing a tux! Oh, happy day!

8:32: Jon is going right for the sincere by mentioning the Writer's Strike... first joke of the night is referring to Oscar night as "makeup sex" after the long, bitter fight.

8:34: Oh, Jon, I don't like the shiny strip running down the side of your tux pants.

8:35: Julie Christie looks so gorgeous in her dark red dress! So classy and lovely.

8:35: Is it nerdy that the first time I loved out loud was the Atonement/ Yon Kippur joke?

8:36: Ryan arrives and is already at a disadvantage in our Oscar pool due to his lateness.

8:40: Jon plugs that this is the "Green" Oscars, which I don't think means anything.

8:41: Jennifer Garner needs to get her hair out of her face. At least she's standing up straight.

8:42: That damned Elizabeth movie wins for Best Costume design, making both Ryan and me 0-1.

8:46: Clooney! I like the way he says, "intimate." He presents the 80 years of Oscar montage, and I get a little teary because I love montages.

8:50: iPhone product placement!

8:51: Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway come up. Everyone's been praising her dress, but it's totally derivative of the dress Kate Winslet wore a few years ago. Anyway, Steve Carell is making me miss The Office.

8:53: Ratatouille wins and now Ryan and I are tied.

8:56: La Vie en Rose wins for Best Makeup and I'm winning!!!!

8:58: I'm a sucker for jokes involving harmonicas.

8:59: Amy Adams sings "Happy Working Song" from Enchanted, and Ryan and I debate whether she's lip-synching or not. It's close, but I like Amy Adams so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's really singing. She's so cute, you guys! I like that she didn't need a whole giant production number around her, but I wish she had worn a more appropriate, Princess-y dress.

9:04: Ryan and I spend the commercial break discussing worst dressed so far. My pick is Marion Cotilarrd for her extremely literal take on the mermaid dress. I don't know if you can see, but there are scales on the bottom. Ugh, I hate the French.

9:06: The Rock has really good comedic timing. But I'm still pissed that the Golden Compass won something.

9:09: Cate Blanchett shows her smug little face. The color of the dress is ok, and I can't be too harsh because she's pregnant but her necklace is straight up fug and she needs to brush her hair. Danielle shows up to defend La Blanchett despite all reason.

9:12: They do a montage of Best Director wins and no one gives a shit because directors are not real celebrities.

9:14: The montage goes into Best Actors, and they show Cuba Gooding having a hernia up on stage when he won for Jerry McGuire. Shouldn't the Academy be ashamed of Mr. Snow Dogs and pretend that never happened?

9:16: Best Supporting Actor award! First real award of the night! Jennifer Hudson doesn't even pause as she announces Javier Bardem as the winner. It's such a gimme that she's probably been practicing his name for months. Oh, he's speaking Spanish to his mom! So hot!

9:22: Jon gives us a taste of what the Oscars would be like were the Writer's Strike still going on, which means a lot of montages dedicated to things like binoculars and bad dreams. We try to name the movie as the clips flash by, but we don't do so well.

9:24: Keri Russel comes on stage to do her glowy thing and introduce the song from August Rush. I go to the kitchen to prepare for the crepe-making. I dislike children singing.

9:28: Owen Wilson comes on stage to look sober and present the award for Best Live Action Short. I always pick the one with the best name, which was The Mozart of Pickpockets. And it wins! Strategy prevails!

9:30: Bee Movie? What the fuck is Bee Movie doing here? Oh, a bee montage is actually kind of cool. I'll allow Seinfeld, but after that you have to go back to the Hamptons. They're letting him present Best Animated Short Film? Was Ratatouille busy?

9:34: The Cate Blanchett contingent in this room is torturing me by cheering for her in the Best Supporting Actress category. Go Amy Ryan and her Boston accent!

9:37: Tilda Swinton won! Well, good for her. I read somewhere a few days ago that she has a hard time in Hollywood because her face looks like a brain (not literally), and audiences like actresses whose face looks like a heart (think Reese Witherspoon). She's wearing a giant piece of black velvet, which I strongly disagree with. Oh, she's thanking Clooney! And teasing him for being Batman! Ok, now I love her. I'll take her to lunch and we'll talk about how dreamy Clooney is and how he can do so much better than Little Miss Fear Factor. (Her dress looks like wrapping paper, yes or no?)

9:43: Jessica Alba comes on looking super gorgeous and very pregnant. On the red carpet Ryan Seacrest asked her if she was going to breastfeed, and she looked appropriately shocked and repulsed and told him it was a very personal question. But in guess you're wondering, she eventually did tell him yes.

9:44: Do you notice they always send a really hot, young girl to host the technical awards? I think that's very generous of the Academy.

9:45: First cutaway to Jack Nicholson in the audience. Booo. Second cutaway a few sentences later... keep the lense on James McAvoy, c'mon.

9:46: I like how for the Best Adapted Screenplay they show the writer sitting at a laptop typing or whatever. And I win again with the Coen Brothers! I believe the tally is Julia:5, Ryan:3.

While the Coen Brothers give their speech, let's appreciate Jessica Alba's hair. It's very earth-mother will still being Oscar-glamorous.

9:49: The Academy president comes up to explain how the nominations work. It's boring. But it kind of makes me want to be an account at Price Waterhouse Cooper.

9:52: Miley Cyrus! She looks pretty great in her simple red dress, although on the red carpet she kept doing the duck lips no-teeth smile. But, you know, she's just being Miley.

9:53: Kristen Chenoweth is pretty cute, but I think the grey color was a mistake. Guys, I really liked this part in Enchanted. It's kind of my New York fantasy to lead a giant musical number in Central Park.

10:00: Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen are making me giggle, but just a little. I'm mostly just pissed that Ratatouille got robbed in the best sound editing category. Bring on, sound mixing!

10:05: I picked Transformers for this category because I heard this guy has gotten nominated every year for the past 35 years and never won. Damn you, Bourne Ultimatum!

10:08: The Best Actress montage comes on to remind us that Helen Mirren is the biggest babe in all the land.

10:09: Best Actress time! When the camera cute to Ellen Page everyone in the room said, "Awww! So cute!"
10:12: Marion Cotillard, whatever. Actually, she's pretty cute. Danielle says, "Her face looks like a heart." She was pretty happy and sincere... fine, I'll like her.

10:17: Giant Wii! That's pretty fricking cool. Colin Ferrel looks like a rodent, but I too like sliding across the floor in my shiny shoes. I like how they pick who introduces the Best Song performances; Miley for the Princess song, Colin for the Irish film.

10:18: I saw Once and I was maybe the only person who didn't find it transcendently magical. I thought it was too slim of a movie, and all the songs sound the same. Also, I strongly dislike when writers don't name their characters because they think it's clever.

10:22: Danielle just told us she would date Jack Nicholson. I punch her in the face until reason returns. Yet another montage... I thought this was what the Writer's Strike ending was supposed to prevent? I make a plan with Ryan and Danielle to boo and hiss when they show Crash winning. As the Best Picture winners flash by I find myself having no memory of Million Dollar Baby or Departed winning.

10:27: Renee Zellweger and her squinty eyes come on to announce film editing. I really don't like her and her lemon-sucking face, but I have to give her props for her super buff arms and shoulders. Ryan and I both chose the Diving Bell and the Butterfly, but the Bourne Ultimatum wins! Is this the third Oscar for them? Damn. In other news, I've decided that Renee is too buff and it's making me uncomfortable. Also, I hate her haircut. Her dress is ok.

10:30: Nicole Kidman appears and it looks like a chandelier fell on her head and got caught around her neck. Or, it looks like diamond stalactites are growing on her chest. But pregnancy definitely agrees with her and I'd say she even looks a bit less Botox-y than usual.
10:32: Is this the lifetime achievement award section? I think it's time to make crepes.

10:42: Crepes were a success! Ryan had to take off the fire alarm because it kept going crazy, but I'm enjoying a banana and nutella crepe with whipped cream as I type this. Oh, and I won Foreign Language film with Counterfeiters, because Austria always wins.

10:45: This performance of the song from Enchanted is pretty good... the guy singing is pretty cute in a young, normal way; like you'd see him at the grocery store and think, "Oh, that guy buying beer is pretty cute."

10:48: I really dislike John Travolta. It's time for Best Song... damn, Once snuck in. I guess that's ok. Ryan picked that, so he's closing the gap! Oh man, the Czech girl didn't get to say anything because the Irish boy gave a whole long speech! That's why you don't take men a dozen years older than you: because when you win an Oscar for your duet he'll hog the mike and you won't get to thank your parents.

10:56: Aw, Jon Stewart brought Czech girl back out to give her speech! Date him, Czech girl! She gives a very lovely speech about independent music and not giving up.

10:58: Cameron Diaz and her "just going to the gym and then running some errands!" ponytail comes out for Best Cinematography.

11:00: Dead people montage! I'm betting Heath Ledger will get the last spot with the fade to black.

11:04: Ooh, after Heath Ledger's clip is was a burn up effect, then fade to black, then audience applause, then wideshot of the auditorium lights and another fade to black. Pretty fancy, Academy.

11:09: Atonement wins for Best Score, so Ryan and I both pick up points. We've been slacking on the tallys, but I believe I'm up by one.

11:13: The winner for Best Documentary short is all, "This movie is for lesbians! But, you know, I'm not a lesbian, you guys, I'm married, just so everyone knows. Not a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

11:14: Tom Hanks is looking a little rough around the eyes. Is Colin Hanks calling home in the middle of the night crying about how he's failed to capitalize on all the promise of Orange County?

11:16: I win for Taxi to the Dark Side! And since Ryan and I have the same choices for the rest of the categories, I'm the de facto winner! Yayyy! Excuse me while I go take a victory lap.

11:23: I love Harrison Ford, but he looks like he's about to fall asleep. Pep it up, Harrison! Do you need sometime to give you a feodora and a whip before you show any energy?

11:24: Diablo Cody wins for Best Original Screenplay! Is she the first stripper to win an Oscar? Her dress is not very cute, but I saw a photo of her on the red carpet where her eyes looked gorgeous. Do her earrings have skulls and crossbones on them? Yeah, they do.

11:25: Aw, she thanked her family for loving her exactly the way she is, and then walked away crying! That's pretty sweet and sincere.

11:29: You guys, Helen Mirren is so fucking hot. I want us to have tea and go shopping. Her body is totally fierce, and I don't mean "for an old woman."

11:30: Danielle is about to wring my neck as we argue about whether Cate Blanchett's neck ornament was a necklace or part of her dress. She's mostly convinced me that it's part of her dress, but I still know, deep in my gut, that's it's fug nonetheless.

11:33: Nice ear hoops, Daniel Day-Lewis.

11:41: I really like Martin Scorsese's tuxedo bib thingy. It's very sharp.

11:45: No Country for Old Men wins Best Picture. I'm tired, you guys.

11:46: How did Jon Stewart do as a host? I don't really have an opinion, which is a first. I guess he was good? The ceremony seemed to move fast, I had some laughs. So, sure, thumbs up for Jon Stewart. Thumbs down for Renee Zellweger.

Good night! Everyone have sweet, Clooney-licious dreams!

Read More......

Oscar Predictions--Oriental Style

Comes with your choice of white or fried rice and wonton soup, hot and sour soup, or egg roll.
My selections are pretty fucking similar to Julia's (I did say she had fair good taste before), except to try and one up her tonight, I picked a couple dark horses. And then there were all the categories I was just making stuff up for.

Picture: No Country For Old Men
Director: The Coen Brothers
Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis
Actress: Ellen Page (I just kinda wish)
Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem
Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett (Just so Julia will hate me more)
Animated Feature: Ratatouille
Documentary: Sicko
Screenplay, Adapted: No Country For Old Men
Screenplay, Original: Juno
Documentary Short: Sari's Mother
Foreign Film: 12
Short Flim, Animated: Even Pigeons Go to Heaven
Short Flim, Live: At Night
Art Direction: Atonement
Cinematography: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Film Editting: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Costume Design: Sweeney Todd
Makeup: Pirates of the Caribbean
Sound Editting: The Bourne Ultimatum
Sound Mixing: 3:10 to Yuma
Visual Effects: Transformers
Original Score: Atonement
Original Song: Falling Slowly

My predictions are kinda half assed...it would've helped if I went to the theatres more frequently...or people would send me dvds with all the movies on them so I could make better evaluations. Points to people for each category they can identify I completely guessed on. Here's to hoping I beat Julia!

Read More......

Oscar Predictions

I don't want to brag, but I've won my Oscar pool 35 years running. Plus, I read Entertainment Weekly every day. So, I wouldn't bet against my Oscar predictions.


Best Picture: I'm gonna have to say No Country for Old Men, even though there's this little twing in my gut that says Juno in an upset. But I try not to listen to my gut that much when I'm hungover.

Best Director: The Coen Brothers. Julian Schnabel had an early victory at the Golden Globes, but as award season went on I feel like the Coen brothers gained all the buzz and momentum he lost. Also, there's two of them, which means more efficient handshaking and baby-kissing.

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood. Obvi.

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, another gimme.

Best Actress: I'm going to pick Julie Christie over Marion Cotillard, because the Academy hates the French (as do we all).

Best Supporting Actress: I'm so torn between Ruby Dee and Amy Ryan, but I think I'm going to give it to Ryan. If Cate Blanchett wins I'll kill myself.

Now, some lesser Oscar viewers might hazard some guesses for the big 6 and move on with their day, but not me. I start watching E! at noon and I make predictions for every single category. So...

Best Documentary Feature: Taxi to the Dark Side
Documentary Short: Sari's Mother
Animated Feature: Ratatouille
Foreign Language Film: The Counterfeiters
Cinematography: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Original Screenplay: Juno by Diablo Cody
Adapted Screenplay: Ethan and Joel Coen, No Country for Old Men
Visual Effects: Transformers
Animated Short Film: I Met The Walrus
Live Action Short Film: The Mozart of Pickpockets
Art Direction: Atonement
Costume Design: Atonement
Film Editing: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Sound Mixing: Transformers
Sound Editing: Ratatouille (but who the fuck knows?)
Original Score: Atonement
Original Song: one of the Enchanted songs, probably That's How You Know
Makeup: La Vie en Rose

Yay, Oscars! E! starts their pre-awards coverage at noon with their arrivals special at 6; ABC gets it going at 6:30 with "Evening at the Academy Awards: Arrivals," then the Barbara Walters special, then "Road to the Oscars 2008" at 8pm, then the big show at 8:30. Anyone who wants to come over and sit on Danielle's and my pushed together beds is welcome.

Read More......

A One Dollar Bet

Here is Lost, season 4, episode 3 "The Economist"
In unrelated news: Hopefully, we can get an oscars prediction post up sometime soon. If you want to participate, let me know!


My one minute recaplet, to be taken with 8oz water: Sayid is the James Bond of the losties. Not only did he do that sweet Xenia Onatopp-like kill last season, but in this week’s episode, we pretty much spend the entire hour watching him shoot people and bang girls.

Aside from a kind of long ‘previously on Lost,’ we open to Sayid praying and then closes Naomi’s eyes. A silver bracelet with an inscription “N, I’ll always be with you, R.G.” First, I don’t know what compelled Sayid to take the jewelry off of her, what is he like grave robbing now? Second, I don’t know why he would analyze it for interior engravings. Oh wait, this is Lost of course there isn’t a good explanation for it. It just kinda happens because it’s convenient.

In this week’s flashforward, we see Sayid enjoying a round of golf by himself. Until this jerk rides up by him and not only continues to bug him, but gives him so advice. I hate when strangers tell me I should do something a certain way. Fuck you, man! I’ll play guitar hero however the fuck I want! Anyways, so the two have a ‘friendly’ wager about which iron is more suited to get on the green. After the stranger wins, Sayid says he’s one of the Oceanic 6 and the man looks very worried. He tries to leave, without collecting his earned wager but Sayid ‘insists’ and calls him by name and then *bang* one dead stranger. So Sayid really hates to lose a bet.

Sidenote: is Kate one of the Oceanic Six? She got off the island, for sure. But would she still have to run from the law? Does she have a golden pass like Jack? I think she is because I don’t have a lot of faith in the writers to cleverly get themselves out of this sticky situation, so they just barrel ahead and pray for the best.

Somewhere in Germany, Sayid hits on this blonde girl sitting in a café. Also, he orders an ‘expresso.’ Sayid, I know you were stuck on an island for like a hundred days, but surely you’ve been in a Starbucks or something. It’s espresso. Blonde girl, Elsa, leaves, marking the restaurant Sayid is to take her, if he ‘can find it,’ she sassily remarks. Except outside, he makes a mysterious phonecall to a mysterious man about and it is clear his intentions are more than just banging her. But don’t worry, there’s some of that too.

When Sayid finds Naomi’s pic of Desmond, they start to wonder why they were looking for Desmond. Juliet runs off to the beach to pick up Desmond and bring him back, maybe to get some answers. Sayid basically tells Jack that he is better at diplomacy. The irony of the torturer being the better diplomat is not lost on me. Jack lets it go, since he tried to shoot Locke last time. Miles sassily demands that he wants to go after Charlotte too, but Sayid just obliges and it kind of stuns him. I guess he was looking for an argument.

Team crazy is marching through the woods and Sawyer wants to know who Ben has on the boat. I’m not sure exactly why, because I doubt he’d know who Ben named anyways. But he keeps threatening violence and Locke stops it. When Locke finds an ashen line, he realizes the cabin is gone and is quite surprised. Ben announces Locke wants to take orders, (from Walt or Jacob though?) but everyone just kinda ignores him. PS Sawyer’s hilarious nickname for Ben is a reference to Gremlins. Haha, bug-eyed Ben. When they realize that Jack will come after them at the barracks, Hurley suggests letting Charlotte go but when he realizes Locke wants a hostage, he kinda tries to back peddle out of the situation. Hurley is such a good guy.

Kate and Jack have a flirtatious moment, then Jack suggests Kate goes with Sayid and Miles. Jack uses Sawyer as a reason that Kate will not get a knife to the back and I find it kinda douche-y but then again, I don’t really like Jack. Miles gets all indignant when Kate gets to wave her gun around. When Frank asks if Sayid was a diplomat, Jack says “no, a torturer,” as the music swells to reinforce the irony.

While walking to the barracks, Sayid is examining Naomi’s bracelet, for some odd reason. Then asks Miles about the team and their relationship. But Miles doesn’t know much about any of them except that he wanted to bang Naomi. Miles retorts that friends don’t usually go after each other with guns either. Touché. Sayid then remarks he’s still undecided about shooting Miles in the face or not.

Sayid picks up Elsa and both look quite dapper. When she wants to leave her pager behind, Sayid insists they take it. Obviously, he wants to run into her boss. She keeps asking him questions about his job and he kind of sloppily parries. Guess she’s not too bright. They make out and leave.

Back on the island, Dan scurries around and sets something up. Probably has to do with lasers (for more on lasers, please see lasersandlava.blogspot.com). He takes Frank’s phone to call Regina on the boat so they can run a science experiment. She fires off a ‘payload’ directed at the laser beacon and though she can track it, saying it lands mid scene, nothing appears. Even if this payload was like pillows and marshmallows, according to the distance it is traveling, it’s still going at least Mach 3. Frank says not to worry but still backs up. Meanwhile, Dan is like just standing right next to the beacon. For a scientist, he’s not very bright.

Sayid and crew come across the barracks and Miles makes a remark about how it’s like a playground. I have to agree with him, the others’ barracks were way too suburban. It’s like a subbarracks or barrburbs. They hear some moaning and bust into a house. Tied in a closet is a gagged Hurley. How reminiscent of Juliet. Hurley fills them in on Locke’s hostage plan and how when he argued with Locke, he was tied and left behind. When Miles calls Hurley ‘tubby’ and tells him to explain, Hurley retorts “oh awesome, they ship sent us another Sawyer.” Amazing. When Hurley asks Miles if they were sent to kill the losties, Miles sassily replies “Not yet.” All the sass, possibly my favorite scene. Hurley says they should go check out Ben’s old house.

Yeah, the Red Sox won the World Series. Kind of a heartbreaker. I know I am a Dodger boy at heart, but growing up with a huge Yankees fan, a little rubs off on ya. Sorry Madelyn, Mike. I’m also surprised at how much Jack misses baseball, since he sucks so much at basketball. The payload finally arrives and it’s a fucking rocket. Why the fuck would you stand so close to an incoming rocket? Inside is a clock except it shows a 31 minute difference. So the island has some weird time bubble thing, possibly like the Lost in Space movie or something. Obviously Dan had to have some idea this was going on because he had a damn experiment set up to test it. I feel like all of this is just gonna have a bad explanation. Juliet brings Desmond back.

Sayid and the A-team investigate Ben’s house and they split up. Using super powers of observation, Sayid notices a warped floor underneath a bookshelf, and suspects a hidden room behind it. He’s right, Ben has an enormous walk in closet in there. He stores some traveling cash, and a few passports too. Sawyer sneaks into the bedroom but Kate draws her gun on him. He signals her to be quiet which immediately prompts her to scream Sayid. Doesn’t she know that a finger to the lips means to not scream. Either way, when Sayid runs into the other room, Locke has a gun pointed on his head. To finish the foreshadowing, it is revealed Hurley was a decoy. They lock Sayid up with Ben while Locke interrogates Miles. Ben sassily tells Sayid, “I lost a dollar, you know. I bet John you wouldn't be stupid enough to fall for your friend as bait.” Haha. Back in the bedroom, Sawyer and Kate share a sexually tense moment as they argue what is here for them versus what is waiting for them back in the real world. Locke brings some room service to Ben and Sayid. Locke tells Sayid about the spy but Sayid refuses to believe anything Ben says. Sayid suggests Locke give him Charlotte but of course offers something in return.

Sayid and Elsa bang and have a conversation about life and love. Sayid realizes he loves her and then says ‘no more secrets.’ Except that cockblock pager goes off and Elsa has to answer it. As she gets ready, Sayid tells her that she has to leave. Obviously, Sayid will be doing something like murder. Elsa asks who he really is and several other questions. Then she pulls a gun and shoots his shoulder. So, in a Bond-like twist, she was also playing him. In German, she talks to her boss on the phone about the setup and though she didn’t get the info, she’ll bring Sayid in for interrogation. Lying on the bed, Sayid sees his gun and plans a distraction so he can shoot her, killing her. Another chick Sayid has banged gets shot and dies. Note to self: don’t sleep with Sayid. But seriously, did they not notice the gun just sitting there before? Seems a little sloppy. James Bond wouldn’t be that sloppy. In a parallel to the opening scene, Sayid closes Elsa’s eyes and rubs her bracelt.

Desmond confronts Frank about how the pic and Penelope but Frank gives up no information, instead just glancing at Dan. Sayid returns with Charlotte, and reveals that his plan was ultimately to trade Miles for her. Kate also decided to stay. Frank doesn’t care for Miles anyways, so he lets it slide. No love for Miles. Dan and Charlotte stay behind on the first ride, so Sayid suggests they take Naomi for some necrophilic reason. Dan warns Frank to fly out the exact same way they flew in. Desmond takes co-pilot for some reason, as if boating and helicopter flying are the same thing. And off they go.

In a veterinarian’s office, a shot Sayid goes into an operating room where Ben cleans up the wound. Sayid shows some emotion over her death. But Ben reminds him that Sayid is a hired gun to protect the ones he loves. So Sayid sold his soul, now working for Ben. At least he’s an awesome badass while doing it. When Sayid tells Ben that they are on to him, Ben ominously replies, “Good.”

LOST

Read More......