Back in Action

This week on Lost we are reacquainted with our long missing friend, Michael. Personally, I would’ve liked him to stay missing but I guess this is just the way the cookie crumbles. So suck it up because there’s still enough demanding to see his boy in this episode to make up for all of last season (even in just the Previously On…).


Locke has apparently called a town meeting to get information out in the open. Even Miles gets to come, meaning the grenade is out of his mouth; lucky him! So the boat wants Ben, then they kill everyone, and also Ben’s spy is Michael. So the losties are finally caught up with the rest of us. I love Hurley’s comments about how Miles only shares what “[they] knew that forever ago” and how Sawyer recaps the highlights of Michael’s time on the island (i.e. he’s a selfish douche). I mean, Michael did kill a chick that Sawyer banged and left him in the hands, bound and blinded, of the enemies. So I can see why Sawyer is still pissed. Locke is way too nonchalant about giving everyone who has crossed him a second chance. Yet killed Boone. Did I mention I hate Locke?

On the boat, no one told me that Sayid and Desmond’s room was actually an NYU dorm. In the middle of the night, the fire alarm starts going off and they run up to the deck. Oh wait, it’s not a fire alarm, it’s a fight alarm. Apparently, it’s to wake sleeping crew members to get their asses to the weekly fight club meeting. “The rules of desertion…still apply to everyone.” Castration? Isn’t that what was gonna happen to Edward Norton? No, I guess the captain is just pissed because two dudes were sneaking off the boat to go make out with out him. Anyways, the captain reminds the crew of what happened to Minkowski (I called him Crazy Joe earlier) and I guess everyone goes back to their jobs. Michael was called over to clean the blood and when Sayid confronts him about what he’s doing, Michael just ominously says that he’s “here to die.” Ooooooh.

After the town meeting, Sawyer confronts Locke about leaving out the part where Miles wants the millions of dollars from Ben. Locke claims he just didn’t think it’d happen but Miles makes the astute point that Ben is able get want he wants. He got free of Locke’s capture and this is after shooting him. So Miles isn’t as dumb as he looks, just douchy.

Ben uses the time to give Alex a map to the temple (where the other Others are hiding). Ben plays on Rousseau’s and boyfriend’s fears but Alex stares him down and calls him dangerous and not trustworthy. Still, they take their leave and I can’t help but feel things are not on the straight and narrow.

Sayid and Desmond confront Michael a second time, wanting answers to why he’s here. The extra is given a lame excuse to go off screen. The second he’s gone, Sayid does some sweet threatening and Michael probably peed his pants a little. This leads us in to our flashback of the week. Or really just episode of the week.

Michael is living in New York City (w00t!) and gets in his crummy car with new stereo. He pins a note to his jacket and drives off. After Desmond’s episode, I was half hoping for a sweet Back to the Future type deal with a time traveling car but all I get is Michael trying to kill himself. Well, that’s okay…except for the operative word being trying.

He wakes up in the hospital, full of tubes and shit. LAME. His roommate is comatose and when the nurse walks in, oh no! It’s Libby! Oh no wait, it was just a dream. If that’s how this series wraps up, heads are gonna roll. The real nurse makes a coma patient joke and I don’t know if it’s inappropriate or not.

Michael arrives at his mother’s doorstop and they argue a bunch. Apparently Walt is not speaking to Michael and they both live in secrecy. Michael’s mom is not happy about raising Walt and I think grandparents in general just make bad parents because they’re tired of doing the family thing. Walt watches him from the window, obviously disgusted.

Michael then goes to pawn Jin’s watch for a gun. I can’t believe that he’s betraying another lostie’s friendship and faith by pawning it. He really does deserve to die. In the alley, just as he’s about to plug himself, a man asks for the time and Michael hides the gun. I don’t really understand the logic behind it but I guess it’s Lost. It turns out to be Mr. Friendly and he wants Michael’s help. However, he doesn’t want to listen and tries several times, in vain, to attack him. Michael just sucks at this. Mr. Friendly seems generally appalled that Michael would weigh his own son down with his guilt and I’m in the same camp. Don’t burden your child with your own demons. Mr. Friendly leaves his contact information and returns the gun.

Back in his apartment, Michael tries to kill himself again but the gun doesn’t fire. And then the news broadcast of Oceanic Flight 815 convinces him to see Mr. Friendly. Apparently at the hotel suite, Mr. Friendly is entertaining a “friend,” Arturo. Is Mr. Friendly gay? I think that’s a weird detail to throw in. He shows evidence that Widmore staged the crash site and I am not sure who is more believable. But I don’t think I really care. Mr. Friendly reveals that Michael is being planted to kill everyone on board the ship. You know, to save all the friends he abandoned before. Cue dramatic music.

We see Michael meeting the crew members Minkowski and Naomi at the port. I don’t really know why they’re being introduced, mostly because it’s really boring. Though, we do see the box he was mailed. Naomi makes ‘fuck me’ eyes at Michael as he boards and he runs into Michael. Miles knows he’s lying but doesn’t care, even offers him an orange. This is the most redeeming scene for Miles’ character that will probably be made. Offering an orange. Michael gets a phone call from Mr. Friendly, making sure Michael follows through by reminding him of the people he has to save on the island.

Out at sea, Frank introduces himself and they start talking. Frank confides that he knows the wreckage is a fake. And I think that makes Michael quite nervous. Back in his room, Michael contemplates the box and his mission. Later, he watches a bunch of hillbillies use HKMP5s to shoot clay pigeons. Where’s the bottle of moonshine you hicks? But this only serves to make Michael even more nervous, and I don’t blame him. Rednecks with guns is not the most secure or comforting idea. Not when you’re stuck with them on the boat you were sent to destroy. They dismiss him as a mere janitor and he looks ready to start kicking ass.

Back in his room, he can still see those yokels as he takes out a metal suitcase from his crate. Once in the engine room, he opens it and reveals (behind a cleverly made façade of fake tools) a bomb. As he is about to arm the bomb, he has a hallucination of Libby who tells her not to do it. Do you think he also feels guilty about Ana-Lucia? Either way, he ignores her and presses execute. After the anti-climactic non-explosion, a compartment opens up and inside is a note that reads “Not Yet.” Oh Ben, you’re such a joker. Tricking people into not really committing mass homicide is good one.

Confused as shit, Michael just plays with a ball (not his balls) in his room and Minkowski comes in and makes a Shining reference then relays that Michael has a call waiting, it’s apparently Walt. I like Minkowski more and more, I mean he plays Hold ‘Em and watches The Shining. Too bad he died traveling through time.

When Michael eagerly picks up the headset, he disappointed to find only Ben on the other line. Honestly, did he really think Walt would’ve figured out where he went and how to reach him? Anyways, Michael is pissed about the joke and Ben is surprised that he went through with it. Ben used it as a mindfuck to show what a good guy he is, not willing to kill innocents to win. When Michael brings up Ana-Lucia and Libby, Ben spits back that it was all Michael’s volition. Good point Ben. And Michael feels like shit again. Good. What Ben really wants is another list of names (what is with the Others’ fascination with lists of names?) and then to disable all the equipment on board the ship. Michael once again agrees to Ben’s plan (I mean, at this point what else is he gonna do?) and thus ends how Michael came to be.

Sayid is less than impressed with this story and so am I. Especially since Michael admits to working with Ben, they’re enemy since forever ago. So Sayid does the rational thing and starts beating the crap out of him and outs the traitor to the captain. He blabs everything about Michael and it seems like the shit is gonna hit the fan.

On the journey to the temple, Rousseau and the others take a break and rest. Karl’s premonition about trouble is assuaged by Alex but then the bullets start flying and he’s shot down. Poor guy, he was so loyal to her. Rousseau and Alex plan to make a run for it but Rousseau gets gunned down too, leaving Alex alone with these snipers that she cannot see. Honestly, I never really liked Rousseau, she was kind of a dirty hippy. Finally, Alex announces that she is Ben’s daughter, probably hoping they won’t kill her. And with that we take a midseason break.

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